Saturday, October 5, 2013

Down But Not Out

It has been awhile since I tried to write anything as my heart wasn't in it. Most people that write do research of news articles on different aspects of the case. I try to write what I feel in my heart and what my thoughts are. Not always very successful, but I feel good about myself when I am finished.

 I want to thank Tori and Katie for allowing me to do that, and thank all of you for the kindness you show in return. As people do, I get sidetracked by events beyond my control and I get angry and lash back at other peoples comments now and then. I am trying to overcome that and it is a constant struggle as you all can attest to that.

The big picture is not my failings or my successes it is finding Ayla Reynolds and what happened to her.  Some people believe that one or more of the Di Pietro's harmed Ayla to the point that she died.

That is a possibility, and they feel that anyone who doesn't want to think the way they do is a Di Pietro supporter. So they think we are simple minded, or we have blinders on and do not really want justice.

Nothing could be further from the truth, I have not accepted that Ayla cannot be alive. Do I know where she could be? No only that she could be. Do I know where she is? Again no, but do they know where she is?

I don't know who could have taken her or why, only that she is missing. So just because we do not agree please don't think myself or anyone who thinks she may be alive is the scum of the earth, and do not want justice for Ayla,

We are not disrespecting Ayla in anyway, only praying she will be found, and brought home. It is not
hard to look at her picture and believe she is alive. The hard part is looking at her picture and believing anyone could intentionally cause her death I know it happens, but I am clinging to that one small thread of hope she will be found alive.

I will try to keep the main thing just that, the main thing is finding Ayla and bringing her home. I know LE will find out who is guilty, and I know they will prosecute whoever the guilty parties are when they are sure their case is ready.




29 comments:

  1. Wonderful post Dana.

    What a little beauty. You just want to hug her close and smother her in kisses.
    My heart tells me that ALL of Ayla's family members feel the same way, no matter what happened to her.
    My heart tells me that every single person who has followed Ayla's case over the last almost 22 months feel the same way.

    Missing, abused and or dead children can and do bring about strong emotions and frustrations. I don't think there is of us who hasn't felt anger, frustration and sorrow, when talking about Ayla.
    Strong emotions may lead us to say something we normally wouldn't. We're all human, and can and do make mistakes.
    I can't imagine the stress and grief that Ayla's family members surely feel and deal with daily. My heart goes out to them, all of them.

    Like Dana, I haven't accepted that Ayla can not be alive. Whatever her fate, I'm all for finding answers and leaving no stone unturned.
    After all I'm part of Ayla's pulse. I'm here until she doesn't need me any more.


    .

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  2. Well said, Dana. I try to stay within reason only discussing Ayla. What any of us feel has no bearing on what happened. It can be difficult to maintain when some would rather attack other commenters than engage in discussion.

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  3. I have to be honest in my thoughts, I do not think that Ayla's paternal family feel the way that we all do. I believe they discarded Ayla like a piece of trash and they hide the truth from ALL of us. Until the time that they speak publicly and convince me otherwise, that is what I will continue to believe. There are some that believe their story and there are some that do not.

    As you can see, I am one of those that believes deep in my heart that the Dipietro family harmed Ayla (whether accidental, or otherwise) and I did not come by that belief easily.

    And yes, I think those that support the Dipietro family (if my belief is true) do more harm to Ayla than good. Because those that support them give them a false sense that they have fooled us all and that we will forget Ayla and they can go on living with the lies and on with their lives. I believe that until the Dipietros tell what really happened, this case will never be solved (unless the police can find where they hid her body). And that is like looking for a needle in a haystack. To clarify, I do not believe that people who merely have not decided whether they think Ayla is alive or deceased are necessarily Dipietro supporters. Just because a person believes that Ayla could be alive, does not mean they support the Dipietros.

    On the other hand, those that truly support, defend and uplift the Dipietro family, I consider them to be Dipietro supporters. Do I think they have blinders on? or are simple minded? or not wanting justice for Ayla? Absolutely NOT.

    What I believe is that those who truly support the Dipietros, do so because they believe their lies and have sympathy for them. I also think that a good part of those people WANT the Dipietros story to be true. Don't we all want Ayla to be alive, well and being treated nicely by some strange abductor? It sure sits better on the heart then what the police have had to say.

    I think what you see mostly is frustration, from all sides and that shows when people post. There comes a point where reasonable people will become unreasonable in their efforts to do the right thing. And I believe that everyone wants Ayla found and the truth to be told.

    No one here harmed Ayla and all of us cannot imagine how anyone could harm a child. Everyone here has a good heart and a desire to not do the wrong thing. But sometimes we say the wrong thing while trying to do the right thing.

    I pray that the truth comes out and that those who truly harmed Ayla and all of us (because our hearts have been hurt by this too) have to face what they have done and stand up and take the consequences of their actions. Until that time comes, people will always be watching and there cannot be any peace in a life lived in lies.

    What we all need to remember is that all the posters here are not the enemy. We all want the same thing for Ayla.

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    1. Your thoughts are mine as well.

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  4. Anonymous 9:16 AM, thank you for your very heartfelt and brutally honest post. My thoughts are pretty much the same.

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  5. anon 9:16 said As you can see, I am one of those that believes deep in my heart that the Dipietro family harmed Ayla (whether accidental, or otherwise) and I did not come by that belief easily.

    And yes, I think those that support the Dipietro family (if my belief is true) do more harm to Ayla than good. Because those that support them give them a false sense that they have fooled us all and that we will forget Ayla and they can go on living with the lies and on with their lives. I believe that until the Dipietros tell what really happened, this case will never be solved (unless the police can find where they hid her body). And that is like looking for a needle in a haystack. To clarify, I do not believe that people who merely have not decided whether they think Ayla is alive or deceased are necessarily Dipietro supporters. Just because a person believes that Ayla could be alive, does not mean they support the Dipietros.

    If you believe Ayla to be deceased they no longer can do anything to harm Ayla. They may be able to cause family members pain of not knowing where she is.

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  6. Dana, I could be wrong, but I believe the person meant their use of the word 'harm' in terms of justice for Ayla. Also, by Ayla not being found, it causes harm to her if she is not given the respect she deserves to be properly laid to rest instead of being left to the elements.

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  7. "Dana, I could be wrong, but I believe the person meant their use of the word 'harm' in terms of justice for Ayla".

    Exactly Rose City, Oregon. The harm is to justice. The harm is to all the family members that do not know what happened to Ayla or where she is. The harm is to all of those wonderful people who have hurt hearts for wanting Ayla to be alright and safe. The harm is even to those who committed the crime against Ayla, as they cannot possibly be ok with living a lie and causing distress to so many good people (including themselves).

    The truth might not be easy, the truth might not be pleasant, but the truth can be liberating. Those people carrying the secrets of what happened to Ayla will never be whole until they release the secret. There cannot be any peace in their life until the truth is told.

    We cannot even begin to see or feel all the harm that is taking place because Ayla is not here. The longer it goes on, the more harm that takes place. May those that know and are holding the truth, gather the courage, the strength and the fortitude to come forward, speak up and begin the healing process for everyone, including themselves.

    If there are "supporters" out there who unknowingly are enabling the liars to think they are safe, pray they encourage those they support to speak the truth about where Ayla is. Because the facts are, that there are adults who know where she is, they know what happened and they are hiding the truth and hiding Ayla. While we all spin our wheels wondering where she is.

    The time really is NOW.

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  8. Well said!! Sociopaths have no conscience though. Snaggle tooth raised 3 of them.

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    1. Let us hope that all that know are not sociopaths and that some that have knowledge merely have misplaced loyalties and sympathies.

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  9. "And I hope she's ok, but my biggest fear is that she's all alone and she's scared, and she ain't got nobody to turn to and I'm her mother and I'm supposed to be protecting her..." Trista first interview December 19th (published)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PnCkclFtWuM&feature=youtube_gdata_player


    I play this over and over again. I watch Trista's tears, I hear the fear in her voice and see the love she has for her daughter.

    I have NEVER seen this in Justin, ever. And people say they cannot figure out who is responsible for Ayla being missing?

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    1. Anon 8.27

      Surely you realize that Justin is shy; an introverted guy. He can't show his feelings of care and concern for his daughter like Trista can!

      Besides with Trista, it is all an act.Trista is a bad person. You can tell from her background. You can tell from her family. You can tell by the way she trapped Justin into being a father.You can tell by the way she is not getting an education or a job. You can tell from the way she has three kids by three different men. (Unlike Phoebe.) You can tell by the way she terrorized poor Justin and Phoebe at the courthouse.
      I wish you could be more sympathetic toward Justin. He can't help himself.

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    2. Crack me up. Justin is not shy. He has scored two women and has produced two children. These are only two women/children that are known. No one "traps" a man into sex. LOL. Yeah it's obvious education/career isn't on Trista's horizon yet. The comparison to Phoebe is incredibly ironic, because do we know who are the father(s) of any of Phoebe's three children?

      Confronting someone to gain truth/justice is not the same as "terrorizing" them. Usually a terrorist uses violence to make their victims submit. I see that Trista is only guilty of imploring Justin/Phoebe for answers: http://bangordailynews.com/2013/09/25/news/portland/relatives-of-ayla-reynolds-face-off-at-portland-court/

      Justin can help himself. He makes this own choices. Why should we help him? He's an adult and capable of making his own choices.

      "Besides with Trista, it is all an act."
      Who's the actor? Phoebe strikes me as the quintessential actor in this tragic play.

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    3. Anon 8:44 - You're kidding right? Sarcasm?

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    4. I forgot about the sarcasm factor on blogs! I not only responded but with media quotes to boot. I get carried away with justice at times. I usually make the mistake of assuming someone who posts/comments is speaking with honest intent.

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    5. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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    6. Why does my comment get removed when I am standing up for the innocent but some dumb POS can stand up for a killer and their post remains? WOW, what a double standard!!!
      Poor Ayla, she doesn't have a chance.......

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    7. Try using better language you want to use the f word I will delete it until you ask Tori to tell me not too.

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    8. If we had the program that would allow me to just remove the profanity I would but it doesn't. Rewrite it without it and it can stay.

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    9. Anonymous 8:44 PM, Justin is shy!?!?! Seriously? SLY maybe, but shy never. He didn't seem to shy confronting Courtney on the street, did not seem to have a problem showing his emotions at that occasion. He wasn't shy about grabbing Trista via DHHS. He wasn't very shy about purchasing a life insurance policy on Ayla. He wasn't too shy in his text messages to Trista where he belittled her and tried to make her feel like a worthless piece of crap, where he tried to control the situation.

      Justin excusers may think he is shy, but SLY is the right word.

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    10. Correction of above, should have said grabbing AYLA.

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  10. "You can tell by the way she trapped Justin into being a father."

    That's too funny. Anonymous 8:44 PM, no one traps someone into being a father. In fact, in an effort to save Ayla's life, Trista told Justin the baby was not his. Because all he wanted her to do was ABORT. By the way, it's the very same thing he requested of his other baby momma. He even went as far as offering to take her somewhere where they would a 'late term abortion'. He wanted no children, no responsibilities, he just wanted to party his pants off. It's more likely that these young woman were naïve and lacking in experiences of the world, but Trista nor the other baby momma 'trapped' poor Justin, he manipulated them. It's how his momma trained him to survive, lie and manipulate.

    The Dipietro family has manipulated this whole mess. And Ayla was the one who suffered the most. Shame on them and I hope that Gabby's paternal family can be there for her when she finally figures out what happened to her baby cousin. Of course, she might already know. Who knows what she witnessed. But someday we might.

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  11. Anon 8:44
    Thanks for the chuckle. I needed one this morning lol
    Justin is not 'shy'. Justin is not emotionally incapable. Justin is not the victim here.
    Justin is savvy to the law. Justin has embraced his right to remain silent.
    Justin didn't get tricked into sh!t. I have not read one word about a condom breaking. (Yea. Birth control is a 2 way street folks.) I've also never saw any charges alleging that trista raped Justin, so :obviously trista didn't force him to have sex with her.
    I'm sure that Justin will appreciate your support when he is at trial. I'm sure Justin will appreciate your support when he receives a life sentence. After all, he'll need someone to put money on his books.

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  12. Good one, elf...... There are those in this world who stand up for the wrong and spit on the innocent. That is how the Devil gets his powers..... Too many demons walk the earth and not enough guardians to protect the innocent angels.......

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  13. I am Anon 8.44 and I was being sarcastic. I was merely echoing the words of the staunch Justin defenders, some of who have stated these things, here, as well as on other blogs. But I will watch my words in future. Cannot anybody recognize the mantras of the DiPietro true believers? Whoops. A couple of you did. Sorry.

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  14. Anonymous 4:24 PM, I understood the sarcasm in the post. But, I can understand how some people may not have realized that it was sarcasm. :)

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  15. Yes, Rose, it's far too heated an atmosphere for me to take that approach. I must apologize for taking out my depression on others. I am very upset that the staus quo on Ayla's case just lingers like a miasma polluting the air of justice.

    Reading today about another "missing or disapperared' baby found in NYC after twenty some years, all doubled over and bagged like garbage, has distressed me. Her egg donor is chief suspect.

    Ayla didn't just disappear, wafting away like a puff of smoke, some adult carried her out of that house, coincidentally a place where her blood was found in patterns indicating blunt-force trauma as well as internal injuries. The reason for the smugness and the arrogance of the DiPietros and their Tudela supporters is because Ayla's body cannot be found. They know it. And the AG knows it.

    But you are right. Sarcasm is probably not the way to go as you kindly intimated in your post.

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