Look at what this is doing to your family; look at what this is doing to you. You may think that keeping Justin's secret and your suspensions to yourself is helping him, but it is only hurting everyone in the long run. Ask yourself this question: How does this whole situation affect your nerves, your heart, your stress level, and your health? Keeping a secret of this importance is tearing you apart inside.
You cannot sleep, you cannot eat (or maybe you are over-eating); the stress alone will bring you to your grave so much earlier than you think! Then, what would Elisha do? What would Lance do? How would they go on without their mother? How about Gabby; wouldn't you like to be around for her graduation, her wedding? It cannot be easy wondering if today will be the day that each of your children are under arrest; how is that going to feel, to know that you could have said or done something to prevent Elisha going away longer than she needs to? What about Lance? Did he really know what happened, or did he find out after the fact? If LE thinks he did, he will be gone too.
You are too old to go away with them. You will not see another day outside of concrete walls. Is that the future that you want? Is that how you see yourself living out the rest of your hard-earned life? Someone needs to stay out of jail to take care of Gabby. Who will take care of her if you are all in jail? Do you know that most girls are molested by their foster parents? Most foster parents are attracted to take in unwanted children hoping that they have a low self-esteem and behavioral problems that will prevent them from ever telling on their new parents, and when they do, they try to say something and the result is usually that their State Worker will think they are "acting out". Even more so, Foster families are attracted by the money they make off of these kids; what if she turns out to be a ‘paycheck’ for a foster family?
Do you want to risk either of these possibilities when it comes to your precious grand baby? You are the adult; you are the parent. Instead of guiding your children to their defeat, why can’t you guide them to do what is right? Do you honestly think that they are going to get away with this? Can you live the rest of your life with this secret? Can you live another day not knowing when ALL of your children are going to jail, and poor Gabby is turned over to State custody? You know, this can all end; all you have to do is make a call! Sure, it will still be stressful in the beginning, except now you will be able to see a light at the end of the tunnel. At night, sleep will come so much easier. It will be so much easier to inhale, it will be a release like you have never experienced before. Your heart will start beating normal again; your mind will ease out of the fog that you are in. You will be protecting Gabby from the unknown of State Foster families. You will be protecting Justin from himself and Elisha from being beaten everyday in jail. Do you really think the girls will be friendly to her? If you could get her sentence reduced by one day, you may be saving her life and her future. If you speak soon, maybe Elisha will be out before Gabby starts school.
Look at what this is doing to your family. Look at what this is doing to yourself and your precious little girl. How do you think your mom is going to hold up in jail? How about you? How do you think that your baby girl is going to do in Foster care? If you wait until LE makes the first move, it will be too late. There will be no one on the outside to take care of Gabby. What then? Do you think Justin Linnell, her dad, will take good care of her? Does he take good care of himself? There is a reason that you do not want him around Gabby right now, isn't there?
Maybe foster care is the best alternative. What if she goes to a family that likes beautiful baby girls a little too much? What if she goes to a family that only sees her for a paycheck? Do you think about these possibilities late at night? Does the fear and stress keep you awake at night? Do you think about it SO much that you cannot stop eating? Can you eat? Have you lost weight; have you gained weight? It is not funny what stress can do to you. What do you think it is doing to your health; your heart, for example? I'm sure that you want to live the longest life possible for Gabby.
What is she going to do when you are gone, gone for good? What about her graduation or her wedding? I'm sure you want to be there for that. How long do you think you can hold this secret before the affects are not reversible? Maybe you think that you can handle it, but you have to know, deep down, that it’s going to destroy you and that it's out of your control. Have you wondered what life would be like without your mom? Can you see the stress physically affecting your mom? Has she lost or gained weight? Is she crying herself to sleep at night? Your mom is older, she is weaker. Don't you want your mom at Gabby's graduation? Can you live with yourself if she dies and you know that the stress of carrying this secret stole many years from her life? Has she worked hard her whole life? What did she do to you and your brothers to deserve this?
Do you ever wonder how life will be in jail? How do you think that will affect Gabby? Will she come to jail to visit you or will she be ashamed of you and her own family? How is that going to affect her self confidence? When Gabby does come to visit, what is she going to see? Are you going to be bruised from the girls that will not leave you alone? Is your mind going to be too fragile from the amount of times you are raped from the other girls and the prison guards?
Maybe you will not want Gabby to come see you; maybe it will just be better that way? Maybe she will not want to come and visit; maybe she is in the small percentage of children that do get good foster parents. Do you think that she will give up a loving family to come see you in jail? She is still very young; I bet in a couple years she forgets about you. She will have a new mommy and a new daddy and she will love them. She will get everything that you should have been there to give her. Why would she give that away and come to visit a mother that she barely remembers, in jail?
My point is this: You know that this can all end, right? All you have to do is make a call before LE comes to make the arrests. Once that has happened, you have lost control of your life. Sure it will be stressful at first, but wouldn't it be nice to be out of jail before Gabby starts her first day of school? Maybe she will not even remember anything; maybe once you make the call, you could have the power to keep your mom out of jail to take care of Gabby while you are gone. Maybe she will never have to forget the long nights in Foster care. It will be amazing how much easier you will be able to breathe, and you will be able to see a light at the end of the tunnel.
At night, sleep will come so much easier. It will be so much easier to inhale, it will be a release like you have never experienced before. Your heart will start beating normal again; your mind will ease out of the fog that you are in. Answers will start coming instead of adding more questions. You will not feel trapped anymore; you will, in a sense, feel free.
Look at what this is doing to your family. Look at what this is doing to yourself and your future. Are you the family "protector"? Have you always been? Do they constantly look to you to help them do the many tasks that they should be doing for themselves?
You are the one that had to find out how to clean up the mess the blood left in the basement. You are the one that had to take care of Justin Linnell when he was talking trash about YOUR family. You must have your own future planned out; you must have so many things that you have wanted to do, but because you have to take care of them, you have put your needs on the back burner. You are the only one that has not started a family. You are the only one that has not been to college. You are the only one that they call when they need their dirty work done or when they have dug themselves too deep in a hole; aren't you?
Now, not only are YOU facing jail time because of your sister's ex, you are facing jail time for a huge mess they all have made. How much of the story they are telling was your idea? How involved were you in Ayla's fate? It may not be as bad as you think; they may not have pushed you past the point in which you cannot turn back.
Maybe you like your position in your family; maybe you like being the "Protector". Can you live the rest of your life knowing that you had the power to protect the ones closest to you, and finally do something that is in your best interests too? Can you foresee the day when your whole family is in jail and then you realize that you could have helped keep them out? You know all the answers that LE wants. Are you going to be satisfied not knowing if you could have used that power to (at least) help provide Gabby one family member to bring her up? LE wants the ONE person that is responsible for Ayla's fate. The rest of your family is just frosting on the cake and they are not doing themselves any good, always taunting LE with lies. Most importantly, you get to decide.
Are you going to be the protector and get some of your family off the hook or are you going to finally take charge of your own life and protect yourself from a life of being held back by them?
Maybe you will save your mom and yourself. How much of this was she involved in BEFORE Justin called 911, and before she called the
Police and the FBI incompetent LIARS? They are going to come after her with no mercy. Can you honestly picture your mother in jail? Is she going to cry every day and herself to sleep every night? She looks like she can look "tough" but I bet under that mask is someone that is going to crumble, mentally and physically as soon as they close the iron bars behind her. Can you live the next 20-30 years without her? You have been protecting her since before you can remember. How can you protect her when there are iron bars separating you? Are the other girls going to like her? I bet that not many like mothers that can participate in causing harm to an innocent BABY. Maine State
How long do you think that she will live in there? The depression and stress will weaken her health and she will start to fall apart (if she hasn’t already), little by little, and soon she will not be your mother anymore. Physically, her blood pressure will raise and her sugar levels will go crazy. Do you know that in a weakened mental state, cancer and so many other illnesses (ones that healthy bodies will fight on their own and may never come to be) will start developing? Which one do you think it will be, Cancer or heart problems? And worse of all: there will be nothing that you can do.
Maybe you would save Elisha. Would she do a better job raising her daughter than your mother would? Should she get the chance to do so? She is younger and jail would be easier on her. Note that I said easier, not easy. I think you are well aware that Elisha's cocky attitude is going to get her in trouble. She will get her first beat down as soon as she shows up. Your family is infamous in
Waterville and the entire State of ; the population of the jails ALL know who you are. Prepare yourselves. Ayla will have her vengeance; it’s called KARMA. Maine
I wonder how long it will be until Elisha is attacked in jail? How long until you do not recognize her anymore? During each beat down and each sexual assault, she will disconnect from her own mind until she is just a shell of who she use to be. Do you think that she will ever be the same? How can you protect her from herself? What if she is away for 10, 20 years? Thank God Gabby will be grown up by then, but her Mother will be gone forever.
Maybe you could save the most important family member of all: Gabby. If you are ALL gone away, who would be left to bring her up? Foster parents have many reasons that they do what they do. Some of them are actually nice people. Are you going to take the risk that she is going to get one of those other families? You are the family protector right? Maybe you can save your own butt, just so that you can save Gabby. I'm sure that she would be better off with her Uncle Lance than with a sex-offender or someone that looks at Gabby as a paycheck. Gabby is a pretty little girl; I'm sure she would attract all kinds of new "Daddies". I mean, at the most, LE can charge you for Justin Linnell's Assault (remember when you kicked him in the face, with a BOOT?); you would be lucky if they do not charge you with Assault with a deadly weapon. AND, they could charge you with murder, accessory after the fact! You may be looking at 20 years yourself, but say you get 10 out in 7 after "good' time. I mean, how much abuse can Gabby suffer in 7 years? Look at what happened to Ayla in 2 months!
I'll ask again: Are you the protector? Have you always been? Maybe your silence is on purpose? Maybe your looking forward to the day your entire family is in jail; if you get less time, you'll have a little while when you can think for yourself. Is that what you want? I really do not think that you are a selfish person. I really do not think that you are willing to turn your back on your family. I think that you think that you are helping them right now, but think again. Remember, you have FAILED Ayla, and she is your family too.
The best way to help them may not be the easiest at first, but soon, they will be able to breath a little better and the after the stress of holding their secret vanishes, they will begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel. They will be relieved. And once again, you will be the one that saved your family.
Do something, FINALLY, for Ayla. You would be doing a service to your “family” as well; and isn’t that your top priority? Remember to consider Ayla too.