Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Where Do You Fit In?

KJ from ArmChair Detectives and Missing In Maine on Facebook wrote a very thought provoking post today and I asked if I could share it and she graciously said yes. I think everyone needs to see it and figure out which group you want to be in.

I try to predominately stay in the first group but I do periodically digress to the third group from time to time when my emotions get the best of me. I am not proud of it but I do and I am glad KJ posted this today because it made me aware of it and I am going to make a conscious effort not to do that anymore. I hope you all will do the same.


I often sit here and read the comments and post made by people and shake my head back and forth in wonder. What were they thinking? Or should I say were they even thinking? There are pages, blogs and groups for Ayla. Each page, blog or group is owned and operated by the person who opened them. Everyone who joins or participates does so by choice. No person is dragged to a group, a page or a blog and forced to read or respond.

Now, that makes me wonder. Why would people who obviously do not like certain other people, go to pages where they are and make mean comments? My observations and experiences throughout the last four months have taught me some interesting behavior patterns of certain individuals. As I see it, there are three main types of individuals who participate on these pages, blogs and groups. The three groups are, the people that want no trouble, the people that are no trouble and the people who start trouble.

The first group (the people who want no trouble) are those who truly want to do what they can to help find Ayla. They pray, they make pens, posters, business cards, flyers, images, billboards, blogs, pages and other things to help keep Ayla's name and story in the public eye. They talk about her with others and they generally hope for the best outcome for Ayla. These people vary in their beliefs, some believe that Justin and his family have done something bad to Ayla. Some of these in this group believe that Justin and his family have done nothing to hurt Ayla. They separate themselves by pages and groups, even blogs. But they have a common thread in that they truly want Ayla to be well and found. They want justice for Ayla. They freely do what they can.

The second group of people are the silent majority (the people who are no trouble). Those are the ones who are curious about Ayla and what happened. They read the news, the blogs, pages and groups but do not participate. They have probably formed opinions on everyone they see commenting and they are probably pretty close to accurate, too.

The third group (the people who start trouble) are the people who probably care about Ayla, but would rather spend their idle hours harassing, trashing and bashing the first group. They enjoy visiting the blogs, pages and groups and pointing out your flaws. If you spell something wrong, they won't miss it. If you do something that might help Ayla, they will be quick to ask if you are making a buck on it! They will like your comment if you agree with their agenda, or if you are nice to the people they like, but they will call you names if you happen to be nice to someone that they believe is a bad person. They will also try to tell the blog, page and group owners how to run their pages and what their pages are "for". Interesting, one day you are liked by them and the next you are lower than the scum of the earth. And they don't mind telling everyone they see about how terrible you are.

You will note that I grouped the Trista supporters and the Justin supporter in the same group, the first group. Which may puzzle some of you. But truly, they are the same. Both are trying to keep Ayla in the media eye and in the public. Both feel strongly that the family they support did nothing wrong. The first group is not troublesome. The reason they are not troublesome is that they really do not care about what others think. They are strong in their own opinion, but agree that everyone has the right to an opinion. They are not looking to start trouble, nor do they want any trouble. Strange isn't it? And it is worth repeating. The first group, which includes the Justin supporters and the Trista supporters, is not a problem.

It doesn't need to be said, but I will say it, the second group is not a problem at all.

It's the third group that causes issues and they cause the issues on every page, every blog and every group. The one thing I will say about this third group of individuals is that they help no one. They really don't care to help, their purpose is to "pick at the wounds" and see who they can get to bleed. They will make comments that have nothing to do with the subject matter. Then they will be sure to tell you that you are most likely going to delete their comments. Why would they do that, because they are obviously smart enough to know exactly what their point is and that is to cause problems. The pages, blogs and groups where the third group of people do their "work" would be a sociologists and a psychiatrists "dream" playground. You will find every kind of behavior under the sun.

The only thing you should ask yourself is, which group do you fit in? - KJ

119 comments:

  1. I'm no angel, I've tiptoed into that third group a time or two myself. But I try to change my attitude and my decisions when I see that happening, so that I can be a kinder person. No one is perfect, but we come a lot closer to perfection when we try to be nice to people. Thanks for sharing this, Tori. - KJ

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    1. CHECK THIS OUT!!! http://radionewz.net/2012/04/ayla-reynolds-stop-the-lies/
      http://whatismyipaddress.com/ip/207.7.90.26
      It is out of Dallas, TX...
      Do you think this site is ran by the JSTL blogger?

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    2. NO..enough already..

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  2. But what if some of who seem like the first group are secretly part of the third group. Or are they mutually exclusive?

    Very thoughtful post. I intend to remember this each time I post.

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    1. Good point Anon 2:57 PM. Nothing is mutually exclusive and I think that many often float from one to the other and back again. I look at this as just a reminder to all (me included) that these groups exist and we can control which one we choose to be. - KJ

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  3. I think there are two categories of Justin supporters. Those who believe him and those who know/suspect/believe he is/may be guilty but are hellbent on defending him. It's the latter group that is determined to villify Trista and her family and bash those who disagree with them.

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    1. Exhibit A. Third group.

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  4. An excellent post KJ,
    Thanks for posting it here.

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  5. My opinions are set in stone.
    So I know when I am in which group of posters.
    Early on I made a three comments on a Facebook site regretting it.
    To be effective at anything it requires keeping ones wits about them.
    When personal attacks are launched at the messenger on their home turf I defend the messenger and end up in group three by default but mostly I prefer to let everyone be in their natural setting under live and let live type of ideas.

    There is a small group of desperate people out there, this I accept.
    One or two facilitators in semi-anonymous mode but not really anonymous.
    I'm only interested in Ayla's case and by extension supporting her family
    but I don't look down on people who follow this type of case from an advocacy position or from trying to understand the human condition.

    To each his own I guess, when it comes to Ayla's right to dignity it starts with me and ignoring the hardcore flotsam and jetsam zombie virus infections in the lunatic fringe.

    ---

    @G4A

    Play by Play Announcer:

    "Bases loaded and G4A is stepping up to the plate. The wind-up! Here's the pitch... Ohwwww! That's long.. Yes yes ITS GONE BABY. Wow look at that disappear.

    Color Commentator:

    "I could tell by the way she was swinging that bat in the cage she might come out and do some damage today"

    Play by Play Announcer:

    "Well you know that's easy to say after the fact but it was a Grand Slam"

    Color Commentator:

    "No no no, trust me I could tell by the way she was swinging that bat even the birds on the scoreboard moved over to the left field to get out of the way... The Woosh... I mean heck, everybody felt it coming"

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    1. This was so hilarious! Thank you so much for the compliment!

      You are spot on. I'm afraid steam might start rolling out my ears any minute.

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    2. Grace, since you live in England, why are you interested in this case? England certainly has lots of cases of missing kids and crime and bizarre goings on. I see those cases on the Daily Mail online all the time. I don't get into those cases because they are so far away, in a different country and continent. I just don't connect with cases in foreign countries. I wonder why you focus on a case in the US rather than a case in England? Just curious.

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    3. I should have said UK, not England, I guess, to be politically correct.

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    4. Anon,

      I hope you are not implying that Grace should not be involved. More exposure, more widely distributed, Ayla name spoken globally, is ALL GOOD FOR AYLA! I recall so many US cases where the children have been transported internationally. I think it is great to ha ve Grace working with all of us to find Answers and Justice for Ayla! Keep on fighting Grace.

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    5. England? Wow. I live in Colorado. You must have me confused with someone else.

      Jeff and Tori have both spoken with me.

      I do follow all childrens issues worldwide. You are right tho, I probably wouldn't get this involved in a UK case!

      Thanks for asking!

      I post with my real name. I fight for Trista's angel. WHERE IS AYLA?

      My new motto!

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  6. I plead the 1st and a bit of the 3rd. The 3rd has been in protecting someone and also have stirred the pot a couple of times to look for a slip up or added info.

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  7. I cant choose a group I fit into,If I feel that someone is disrespecting Ayla,And protecting or defending someone that has the answers, I never name call.I just dont care to ever talk to that person again.

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  8. I am mostly good, but when I have been bad, the devil on my shoulder has made me type in some not so nice things.
    Human nature.
    My emotions get the best of me some days. But I am not going to go over there and take back one word that I ever posted. There weren't many post I made over there , and I really am not gong there again as I feel that she is dangerous.

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  9. KJ Very insightful. Tori, Thank you for sharing.

    The hardest part of all this is understanding that only group 2 has total control of where they fall. I prefer group 1, but have been drawn into group 3 by instigators that I felt were insulting Ayla directly. I know I still had a choice but it is no real choice when Ayla is being disrespected.

    Why is it the only way we can control our position in society is if we choose to remain silent and without opinion?

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    1. I, too, appreciate your post KJ - refreshing.

      Hi John - hope all is well with you. I've seen a lot of disrespect online about this case, amongst all parties involved as well as the "in-fighting" - but I haven't heard people say disrespectful things about Ayla. She's a precious baby, a total innocent. In life I like to stay out of the fray, but I've been drawn to comment in Ayla's case. This is a first for me. I try to write logically, but from my heart. I've been sort of surprised what kind of responses I've had. From the most benign of comments, I've been called names I've never heard in my life. I see this with others as well. It is disheartening, but I remind myself that, ultimately, most people are here because they care about what happened to Ayla, and there's all kinds of personalities, and ways of doing things, in the world.

      Take Care

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    2. abby,

      I can only speak for myself, but what I percieved as disrespect to Ayla others may just call ignorance. I was having a conversation with Jeff on A4A, a poster wanted to start a fire and made a comment with an alias of A4AisaJoke. I took it as an insult because A4A is "Anawers For Ayla". The second disrespectful thing was Selena herself defending the alias and saying we attacked this person for no reason. How can a great aunt condon the use of that alias? This again was what I considered disrespect but others may not, and that is thier right. I think you know I try not to offend with my comments. If you are polite, I will return your politeness. These types of instances though, are what move me into the 3rd.

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    3. I didn't see the interaction you spoke of. I feel that if people don't find any merit in what a blog has to offer they are not required to read it or comment on it. I think it's disrespectful to go on someone's blog for the sole purpose of hating on them. I believe Jeff is sincere in his efforts with A4A, and as he's directly related to the case, it is even more disrespectful to go there to mock him. I guess those would be the people in group 3?

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    4. THIS is part of one of derek T.'s post which I find offensive. These are the sort of things that anger me because in my mind it shows disrespect for Ayla, especially considering who it's coming from.

      "What's your address I'll send a donation to your "Ayla fund" so you can use it to pay all of your unpaid fines"

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    5. ITA Abby. I think that is why I believe we only control group 2. The problem with group 2 is you have no voice and therefore no opinion will be heard. That is very sad.

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    6. Thank you Chicky, I know I am not alone when I see things I consider offensive. This is one of those posts that would move me quickly from group 1 to 3.

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    7. You know when you see or read something shocking and you take in that deep quick breath of surprise mixed with disgust? How do you spell that sound?

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    8. I normally just say "whoa, whoa, whoa" (SP)! And then I let loose with some rantings.

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    9. I think what KJ is trying to imply is even if you see something that you find offensive leave it be. It will only fuel the fire to comment. At least thats my thoughts.

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    10. Sorry..then how do I remove my comment giving an example of how Ayla was disrespected?

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    11. @LT, I have a different take on what KJ is trying to say. I read it as she would prefer that we interact with other posters in the manner of group #1 rather than holding in your opinion or lashing out as in group #3. I do not think KJ wants us not to speak our minds.

      There is a prime example on the previous post "put up or shut up". If you read the DetaLife post it is very much group 3. I politely responded without the name calling and no response as of yet. If they read this post they will probably go respond but if not, they throw the flame out there and then run when confronted with logic and poise. I think this is more what KJ was implying.

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    12. If nothing else, this does show how we all see something different in what we read. That is exactly why it's good to talk and discuss issues. When someone sees something different than what I see, it gives me a chance to look at the situation from another angle. I'm learning things from every comment made here. Thank you all. - KJ

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  10. I'm the second group with an occasional nod in the first group's direction. :0)

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  11. how about a "group" hug ! Very nice Post !!

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    1. { } stweezes and hugs

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    2. ((((Hugs)))) are good! - KJ

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  12. I fit in none of them. I am in my own group that wants justice for Ayla. I want arrests made yesterday and I keep waiting each day for news and a break in the case. I am definitely NOT in the same category as a Dip Supporter.

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    1. I won't be categorized into someone else's "groups." I don't feel the need to explain my beliefs or sometimes regrettable behavior.

      Let he who is without sin case the first stone. (Sticks tongue out).

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    2. I dont want to be a groupie,I just want someone to speak up for Ayla.

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    3. Bride,

      I have to say I like your posts. You speak with passion and conviction. And sometimes, I have to just sit back and wonder why I can't say what I feel like you do. Then I read your second post and I know. You say you sometimes regret your behavior. The Army taught me what they call cause and effect. I too often apply that to my comments and therefore rewrite before I post. But don't change what or who you are. I can sometimes hear myself in your words and that is a good thing for me.

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    4. I'm joining The Bride in her group, it sounds like fun. :) - KJ

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    5. TIMEFORSOMEACTION!!!April 19, 2012 at 7:18 AM

      I LIKE YOUR THOUGHTS BRIDE.... THERE IS WAAAAAAY TO MUCH DRAMA....FOR REAL! SOUNDS LIKE EVERYONE WANTS TO GET THERE POINT ACROSS...THINK YOUR FINGERS NEED TO STAY OFF THE KEYBOARD FOR A WHILE AND LET PEOPLE VENT, THEY HAVE HAD ENOUGH. NOT YOUR PLACE TO PUT PEOPLE IN CATAGORIES.....THANKS!!!

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    6. TIMEFORSOMEACTION!!!April 19, 2012 at 7:19 AM

      *THEIR

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    7. TIMEFORSOMEACTION, I have put no one in a group or catagory. People put themselves in there and they take themselves out and move themselves around from one to another. It's also clear that I (nor anyone else) can prevent people from venting (your note is a good example). :)

      By the way, what is the action you suggest we all take? - KJ

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    8. Thanks John. To ME, my second comment had some "Boo" shock factor and it made me smile when I wrote it. Have a nice day gang, I'm outty til tonight.

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    9. TIMEFORSOMEACTIONApril 19, 2012 at 9:24 AM

      don't know where u get i m saying "what is the action you suggest we all take?" what if its action that i want to take...not nice to put words/thoughts into peoples mouths/minds!!! never did i say TIMEFOREVERYONETOTAKEACTION anyways...too much drama...too much focus lost on ayla with time spent talking about this junk...fyi i m against the dips but am only on aylas side ;) always and forever!!!

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  14. If we think about it, most of us fit into all the groups here at one point or another. This post isn't meant for you to classify where you are, but to give a person an opportunity to think about where they might want to be. No one likes to be classified in a group any more than I. But this even made me think about my actions, too. I've seen people say that they were forced into the third group because of a desire to defend a particular stance, or Ayla. That doesn't necessarily mean you were in the third group. Anyone can defend a stance/opinion and remain kind and respectful. I think more people may think they are or have been in the third group, but truly they were not. One can certainly speak their opinions, state their speculations and argue their case without being disagreeable or disrespectful. I see it here all the time, people with opposing thoughts carrying on reasonable and rational conversations. We need more of that! - KJ

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    1. I agree MIM- My first reaction to the post left me wondering if someone is trying to tell everyone to be in #2 Group (to just shut up, read what you want and not voice your opinion.) but I do not think that that is what they are saying. I think your post clarifies that. (If I am taking it the right way) I think your comment "One can certainly speak their opinions, state their speculations and argue their case without being disagreeable or disrespectful." sums it up nicely.

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    2. I just realized that you are KJ- (per your signature).. :)

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    3. KJ

      I like to think I am a respectful and polite poster most times. I have caught myself jumping over to other sights to confront posters there and it was not with the restraint I use here.

      With that said, much like yourself, I kinda like where I fit now (mostly #1, occassionally #3) and don't really want to be just group 1. The one group I can not be in is #2. I can ignor what I consider ignorant comments, but I can't just read it all without voicing my opinion and asking clarifying questions on occassion.

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    4. John and to the others above,
      I think we all fall into different categories at times depending too on what site we are visiting etc. I go on many sites throughout the day and do not comment on because I do not feel comfortable or do not feel passionate about the topic so there I would fall into the second category. Regarding Ayla's case, I am extremely passionate about and try to stay in the first category but whereas it is an emotional case, I do say things that are considered the 3rd category however I do not seek out these blogs with the sole purpose of going there to anonymously spew hate. I think there is a difference between voicing your concerns towards an injustice or being malicious. I have been malicious in some cases too, I am not perfect, I am only human and I have said and done things I regret. I didn't post KJ's comment to label people or to make them have to choose one group or another but to realize that some of the hatred we see spewed here are from people who purposely choose to be in category three the majority of the time and it is best to ignore them.

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  15. I noticed another blog has changed their tone, today. I also wonder if further legal action will be taken?

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  16. Sometimes people don't post because you are all saying the things they are thinking

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    1. ITA anon 6:59 You can always simply agree if you like.

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  17. "People break down into two groups. When they experience something lucky, group number one sees it as more than luck, more than coincidence. They see it as a sign, evidence, that there is someone up there, watching out for them. Group number two sees it as just pure luck. Just a happy turn of chance. I'm sure the people in group number two are looking at those fourteen lights in a very suspicious way. For them, the situation is a fifty-fifty. Could be bad, could be good. But deep down, they feel that whatever happens, they're on their own. And that fills them with fear. Yeah, there are those people. But there's a whole lot of people in group number one. When they see those fourteen lights, they're looking at a miracle. And deep down, they feel that whatever's going to happen, there will be someone there to help them. And that fills them with hope. See what you have to ask yourself is what kind of person are you? Are you the kind that sees signs, that sees miracles? Or do you believe that people just get lucky? Or, look at the question this way: Is it possible that there are no coincidences?"
    Mel Gibson is not pleased and M. Night Shyamalan is going to sue for more than copyrights.

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    1. "Can you pretend to be like you used to be, comfort me"...

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    2. I had to smile when I saw the comment Shannie! But I haven't figured out where I stand in Boos comment. I am the person that believes you can't win the lottery if you don't buy a ticket. then, even if you buy the ticket it is still a long shot at best. I guess that would be that I believe in luck.

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    3. The groups thing reminded me of the Graham Hess speech in signs...

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    4. I see signs. I see miracles.

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    5. We get the point. We are not as ignorant as the readers of your blog. This is the internet not high school or Hollywood.

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    6. Anonymous Douche #10:45, I was explaining my comment to John P...don't like it? Pass it by, like you've made a point of saying in your previous posts. For not being able to stomach me, you sure do like stalking my posts. Someone's got a crush...

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    7. I for one and glad to see you here Boo. I know JSTL seems to think there was a big rift and I was reprimanded, by who I am not sure and that you were also put in your place. I think she is delusional. Anyway, I knew where you were coming from with your post, someone emailed me concerned that you were accusing KJ of plagarism but I know that wasn't the case. Regardless, no matter what you or any of us do, we can never please them all :)

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    8. BooKat, All I can say is great minds think alike. Because I've never read, or seen that from Mel Gibson and M. Night Shyamalan. In fact, I have no clue who M. Night Shyamalan is! I sat down at my computer and wrote it straight from my head. Now what are those two doing in MY head? :) - KJ

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    9. Thanks Boo,

      I had not seen the movie Signs. I appreciate you clearing that up for me. The fourteen candles were sending me for a loop. I also appreciate you clearing up the anon firestarter. I may not be up on many movie references, but I did learn how to read when I was in high-school back in the 70's & 80's. That was along time ago, I need to stop dating myself.

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    10. The 70's were a good time to be in High School. I know I enjoyed it. :) - KJ

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    11. First, I can't watch anything with Harelipped Phoenix.
      Secondly, some of us had kids attending school during those decades.
      Thirdly, what was I saying?

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    12. LMAO, Awesome Grace! And I don't believe you had kids in school in the 70's & 80's. :D

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    13. John I said us not me. Good eye Tuck! How about your half right.

      Maybe it was grandkids in the 80's? My mind goes sometimes.

      What kind of rumors are there out about me? First England now this?

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    14. Joaquin Phoenix can't help having had a congenital deformity. He's the bees knees, frogs and all...

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    15. Sorry Grace,
      That was a misread on my part. I am getting old, that sucks!

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    16. Alright Boo, now I know I am no longer hip as my sons tell me. I am figuring the "bees knees, frogs and all" is the equivalent to "All that, and a bag of Fritos"? I don't have a chance at ever being kewl again. I guess I will just get rid of my DJ equipment. ;)

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  19. I think it is very easy for people to claim they care about Ayla -- and a lot of us do -- and use that claim to justify some pretty disgusting behavior.

    No one forces you to go to any group, true, but sometimes you don't realize the content of the group until the members start removing their costumes to reveal their true nature. And you realize this is not the place for you and attempt to cut ties but they keep trying to get their hooks into you by needing to get the last word or initiating contact under false pretenses, perhaps feigning remorse at that group #3 behavior.

    And some seem especially tech savvy at breaking through things like email & Facebook blocks when all else has failed to deter them from contact.

    There is more than one kind of evil. There is the overt evil that can be seen with a mere glance like that of the JSTL group -- and then there is the more insidious sort where people reside claiming that their intentions are noble & that this somehow justifies any and all acts to which they may resort. More than a few times, I've seen the term, "Well-meaning" used to describe some of the various players in the groups & blogs. And each time I've seen it, it has brought to mind that expression about the road to hell.

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    1. I just want to clarify a misconception you have here, for starters no one has gotten access to anyone's email account. The screenshot of the JSTL's email account was taken by JSTL and uploaded to a PUBLIC photobucket account, all anyone had to do was go to photobucket.com and search juststopthelies. As far as breaching facebook blocks, I have not personally done that and I am postive no contributors on this blog have done such. I receive things that are said there via email from a member of that group that wishes to share them with me for whatever reason. No one is hacking into anyone's information. As far as posting ip addresses, they are also available freely on the internet when someone comments on a blog and you have the proper software downloaded (like JSTL's new logo on the top upper right hand corner letting her users know she tracks ip addresses with software from ipnoid.com and in the bottom left hand corner of my blog, where I am able to track locations and page views using site meter) This information is readily available online and is no different than someone posting someone's criminal history online. If there are readers here or at JSTL for that matter and they are tech savvy, they may have possibly hacked someone's account, I am not aware of this if they have and I am not privy to any information gleaned from any attempts. I have done nothing on this blog but investigate the same as anyone else that reads this blog is able to do, you very easily could get this same information. I do not have a paid or free membership with any site that does people searches, criminal records searches etc although JSTL has claimed she searched me using such a site. I fail to see how we are more evil here, I only see that you are either confused or naive.

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    2. @Anon 8:13, I hope the road to hell is a wide one because this site has a lot of support, and if that is what you are insinuating-I guess we are all on the road to hell including yourself for being inclined to post here :)

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    3. I don't think anon is insinuating that you've done anything wrong. There are other cases where this type of thing has happened, Lisa Irwin for example. The facebook page for a local station had a general comments section (unmoderated) that got so out of control they shut it down. People's facebook accounts were getting hacked and it went so far that people's jobs were being called, people's addresses and their kids names were published and threats were being made. It was a zoo. It all started out with saying they were there for Lisa and it descended into the wild west rather quickly. You have to be very careful who you talk to and who you email. The pretenders ARE out there and troll the blogs and facebook pages, like it or not. This site so far has conducted itself admirably.

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    4. @ My Own Opinion, I agree the people that run this blog and most of the commenters have done outstanding work. I hope they don't have to continue for much longer. Someone Please Bring Ayla Home!

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  20. i am group number 2..most of the time..i read alot of pages blogs and such..for one reason and that is Ayla. i have made my mind up on what i believe happened to Ayla..but i am not so narrow minded that a cannot look at all the other information and theories out there. I have gone onto the JSTL blog..and in reading the so called theories, name calling, mud slinging it only strengthens my beliefs on what happened to ayla..which is the complete opposite of group 3.. why? mostly because of the people these theories come from..from her own admission Selena admits she has never asked her family what happened on dec 16th/17th. That is when every theory she started throwing out there for all to read became junk to me.. im more a just the facts kind of girl..just sayin..............

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  21. Tori,

    This was NOT directed toward you or your blog. I am so sorry you took it that way.

    I was referring to the topic KJ addressed & where people fell in the various groups.

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    1. Regardless, so what you are saying is that if we commenters/bloggers fall into one of the categories (which we all do) we are on the road to hell ... Right? M.I.M. was stating fact and I will be happy to walk beside on that road to hell as you say. As long as I know that my collaboration and support for Tori and MIM has been able to bring Ayla Reynolds home-I'll gladly take that walk ANY DAY!

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  22. Actually, someone already said she does not fit any of these categories, so no, we don't all fit into one of them.

    That comment was not about the people who sincerely care about Ayla. It was about the people who CLAIM to care about Ayla then try to use it as an excuse to justify any and all behavior.

    And actually, KJ was stating an opinion, not a fact, but you sure gave a good example of how someone will claim defense of Ayla as a reason to go into group # 3 mode.

    Christ on a crutch!!!

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  23. I have only commented on the "Justice for Ayla" facebook page...and only in the last few days. Although I have followed this case from the beginning...only in the last few days has my opinion and pure frustration come out publicly. I think that I would fit mostly into group 2....I resist a burning temptation to stoop down to group 3's levels. But in no way shape or for will that type of vile behavior help find Ayla.

    As a mother, my heart aches for Trista. I can not even begin to imagine what she is going through...and with the relationship she seems to have with her family I can make a safe bet that she is going through most of this alone.

    I pray every night that this little girl is found safe and unharmed (physically....because emotionally Im sure she is being tortured) and returned to the mother that cherish's her.

    I wish there was more that I personally could do to help find her. But like the rest of us...I am too far away and not wealthy enough to start bribing people into tell me where Ayla is.

    Kudo's to you on this post KJ. You posses the patience that I (and most of the nation) am clearly running out of

    Dana

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    Replies
    1. I agree all around, Dana. Thanks for sharing here today.

      Delete
  24. EVERY blogger (the almighty Jeff included) are in group three.

    I won't even guess as to where you desperate need for attention stems from...but I sincerely hope you seek help.

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    Replies
    1. That's probably the most immature statement I have seen on this comment session yet....I agree JMH *sigh*

      Delete
    2. :D lovely! Still lieing, Truth? What are you SEEKING now? Please find a worthy cause and STOP the LIES and pain!

      Delete
  25. I have never considered myself a "groupie" so this thread didn't particularly light my fire.

    I tend to hold strong opinions, and I have been known to cajole, reason, ridicule and be downright nasty to express myself depending upon the issue and the audience.

    I read, but do not post, on JSTL blog. It would be an exercise in utter futility. In my opinion, the blog is an outrage. I recognize that I would only be fueling the fires if I were to speak my mind on JSTL, and the contemptuous pyromaniacs over there would delight in the rubble and debris of my words. As such, I speak out by not speaking out.

    Here, I feel safe. Not because we are like-minded, but because there is a general standard of decency, intellect, wit and sarcasm (LOVE BooKat and Shannie!), respect, and a genuine concern for Ayla and those responsible for her fate.

    We all need to pick our battles and strategize for victory. That process can take many forms, and thus we morph from group 1,2,3,4,5, etc.

    It was interesting to watch LE play it out. They initially cajoled the Dips, publically praising their cooperation when in fact LE simply did not want to alienate them. The Dips, however, were on their radar from Day One. Smart strategy!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for sharing as always, mckeekitty. My issue with JSTL currently is that they do not welcome opinions other than their own; they delete all of them. I'm a person that accepts all commentary, even the bad portions, but I accept it on all sides. I don't delete comments here unless they are downright offensive and unnecessary, that do nothing to contribute to Ayla's whereabouts. At JSTL, all of my comments were deleted (and I do not bash people in my words anywhere online), and not only that, but I was attacked for being there in the first place. Aside from the slaps in the face to Ayla that blogger has performed, the "moderation" of sorts and attacks on anyone over there not in line with their visions is why I no longer visit (or attempt to comment at) that site. I'm not Tori, I am myself...so for JSTL to disregard any thought I could contribute to that site because of their feelings of J4A is both immature and ridiculous, and essentially defeats the purpose of maintaining a "public forum for discussion."

      Delete
    2. JMH, you are lying.

      Almost every comment on my blog over there attacks me or says that Justin did it. Why would you be so special as to have all of your comments deleted? It sounds good to tell your followers that I am somehow silencing the voice of opposition, but we both know that's false. I post JusticeforAyla's comments, and the comments of many others who also comment here.

      I did not attack you. I have not slapped Ayla in the face any more than this blog has.

      You're full of shit.

      Delete
    3. JMH...I believe it is important to monitor JSTL. You know, "keep your friends close and your enemies even closer." BUT DO NOT POST! Eventually, the comments will be reduced to just Selena and Obscure swapping tuna casserole recipes with one another.

      There is no greater honor than having your posts deleted from JSTL. Consider it a noble badge of integrity and conscience.

      I do intend to keep tabs on JSTL. I consider it my duty to monitor activity on known terrorist websites (oops...did I just dip my toe into group #3?) I'm glad LIES is catching the first of many waves of legal actions...I want to see it when the tsunami hits her blog.

      Keep up the good work, ladies!

      Delete
    4. Uh oh...someone got out of her play pen and found mommy's keyboard!

      Go back to your corner, Obscure. Derek and Selena are posting :( all over your blog because you aren't there to play a round of "Trista Did It" with them.

      Delete
    5. Oh "Obscure" where should one begin with you?

      You have not only slapped Ayla in the face...but you stand behind the very ones responsible for her disappearance. Your blog is an insult not only to Ayla...but to her family as well. You are only looking to place blame on Trista and her hardships in life.

      Apparently you are a squeaky clean little troll...hmm why do I get the burning feeling that's about as far from the truth as the sun is from the earth.

      Truth is....(and now read carefully here sweetness) You attack everyone and anyone (and I have fully read through your blog) that does not share the same disdain you do for Trista. The malicious way you attack Trista....slaps that baby girl in the face with every word you type. That Angel loves her Mama....you can tell in every picture you see of them together.

      You are the one that is "full of shit" you could give a rats rear end about Ayla....if she is found dead or alive...it doesn't matter to you...as long as you have made Trista look like an unfit druggie Mom that could care less about her kids.

      Please do ALL of us..including Ayla a huge favor...and go crawl back under the bridge your sorry ass slithered out from under!!!

      Good Day!

      Delete
    6. "Oh 'Obscure' where should one begin with you?"
      _______________________

      Well, here's my suggestion, Dana. First, catch her. Yes, she'll squeal at first, but just ignore it. Gut her fast. When she's done bleeding out, the fun begins.

      Take a Granny apple and shove it in her mouth. Prepare the spit over the barbecue, taking care to keep her 8" from the flame. Rotate her every 15 minutes for three hours.

      Now the sad part. She has no taste...no flavor. In fact, she's inedible and cannot be digested. A bad sow, through and through.

      Delete
    7. You know Mckeekitty...I have resisted many many temptations to stoop it the little trolls level...but you know what every so often you have to toes in the temptation pool.....

      With that said....that was freakin hilarious!!!!

      Delete
    8. Don't waste time on her. Her blog is coming down piece by piece due to copyright infringement and whatever other complaints she says she got.

      Delete
    9. No, Obscure/~ST/SeekingTRUTH or whatever name you choose to go by now. I posted my thoughts on your blog a total of around seven times, and each and every one of my comments were removed after being live for a day or so. I even attempted to post a comment using a random Alias I chose at the time and THOSE comments were removed, I assumed at the time, because they didn't side with your opinions! I checked the last time I was over there to further confirm and yes, they weren't there; I also noticed you had some posts that were live previously that aren't there anymore. If there is one thing I am correct on, it is that my comments were removed. Also, at one point in time I wasn't using "JMH", I had my actual name on my account before I started contributing to the J4A blog, so this is more than likely why you don't recall the Blogger username. But it is a fact that my comments were removed and I was also told by some of your readers that "I was damaging my son in more ways than one" for "my history with his father" and other things they know nothing about in our personal lives, demanded I seek therapy and other absolutely ridiculous comments just for expressing an opinion.

      In a couple of my posts, I actually commended you for good writing that I actually agreed with, and for whatever reason...they were removed. Lost in the matrix? I have no clue, but they were removed; so don't come over here and tell me that I'm "full of shit", because I am NOT a liar and I am a person that speaks honestly throughout my life. Your followers and the commentators of your blog attack you and you leave it there, that's fine, it's your blog; but don't come here and say you don't remove comments as you seem fit. Mine just happened to be in that bracket, I suppose.

      Delete
    10. Not only does Obscure/SeekingTruth/ST remove posts, she usually has the comments screened before allowing them to post. So, most people who comment there have a messed up view of the real attitude of readers there. LIES decides what will be posted and what will never show up. After a while, any reader is bound to leave under that type of censorship.

      A blog is a forum for the blog owner to post their opinion, the reason for the comments is to hear all sides of the story. But when a blog owner controls the voices that respond, the blog owner might as well write all the responses themselves. Hmmmm, sounds like LIES and JSTL.

      It's a sick game she plays. One moment she comes off like a screaming insane person with tourette syndrome, threatening everyone on her blog and beyond. The next post she is trying to pretend she is sane and wonders why everyone doesn't like her.

      I did not know they allowed computer access in the looney bin. Surprise, surprise. Enjoying a little romp in group three for me.

      Delete
    11. I have to say that though I feel ST/LIES/Obscure, whatever the name is that's being used today, is an absolutely insane in the membrane, I have even more of a dislike & disdain now for Selena. The way she goes out of the way to move Ayla to the background and defend the very people responsible for harming this little angel is, in my opinion, even more heinous. JSTL claims not to have ties to the paternal family, NO I don't believe the claim, but Selena is family to a missing child and totally disregards that familial tie as long as the precious DiPietros are proected and made to look "good and innocent". They are niether and Ayla deserves so much more from her blood relatives. Just my own observations so to the anons and Obscure, don't accuse me of stating facts that Selena is worse of than Obscure. They are both below contempt in my eyes.

      That was dedicated to The Bride that showed me sometimes you just have to say what you feel without analyzing the cause and affect.

      Delete
    12. OBSCURE defined:
      shrouded in or hidden by darkness
      You picked your name wisely.

      Delete
    13. John interestingly enough, I was reading the posts and came across yours above and as I was reading, I was like "yes, go John, right on, I agree" and then I saw your nice note about me afterwards. After I left this morning, I had a long road trip and I was thinking about what you said earlier and how you made me feel so good about saying things on my mind. It's funny because I'm going thru a mini crisis the past few days and I don't feel like the person you described so it was a surprise to read. Even though I thanked you this morning, I want to say thank you again. Sometimes the little things you say mean more to a person than you/we realize. Wouldn't it be cool if we could all affect each other that way! That's why everyone enjoys you so much John P. You're a good man.

      Now all we need is JUSTICE FOR AYLA and arrests!!!

      Delete
    14. We all heart John.

      ITA with the last sentence!

      Want to help?

      STAY TUNED FOR NEXT POST

      Delete
    15. Thank You Bride! Your posts appear to me as heartful and honest comments that are what you feel. I have seen it in all your posts.

      You know what, when I posted earlier it felt good to get that off my chest. I thought before today I would get swarmed on by the anons and LIES and maybe even Selena. Seeing your post gave me the inspiration to finally say what I felt. Keep fihgting for Ayla! Let's Bring Ayla Home!

      Delete
    16. Thank You Grace, you make me smile with your posts, and I want to help any way I can. I await anxiously!

      Delete
  26. I just feel so bad for little alya ..to think that poor young child ,
    Pulled away from a the only home she knew, thrown into a family
    She didn’t really know. What scars that poor baby has gone through.20 months. If she abused in this new family it just makes me so sad.
    What was the father trying to prove ,would seem like when the mom was back from treatment he should have brought Alya home to her.. Where she was happy. Than and only then the two of them work together for a better way to share her .she is part of both of them..it is /was all about her..shes is/was not a bag of sugar.. There does seem like there are a lot of unanswered questions.. I can not see how the second family can go through their life with these left unanswered ..yes they do have friends .that’s they way it should be . But…they also have a lot of angry birds out there …

    ReplyDelete
  27. Okay, well am I allowed to say "Tell us how you really feel" since formal names aren't allowed to be used? Maybe sarcasm isn't okay, so I will try again.

    So I will just say in response to Anon 8:13, that I hope that you take a few moments to reflect on some of the things that you said and really consider if they're true or not, as well as your own role in things.

    To the admins here, I just want to point out that passive aggressive posts obviously aimed at specific people aren't very nice, and while I should probably ignore it, I feel the need to speak up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We are working on this very issue right now. New posts up soon. Please bear with us. If our readers want us to turn off comments post why and I will contact Tori. If not don't fan the flame the fire dept is on the way!

      Delete
    2. Thank you, Grace, I appreciate it. I don't want to be drawn into drama. This very post is about not getting pulled down to that level, but it's hard not to when you feel targeted.

      Delete
    3. @AlwaysAylasAngel, I did remove the comment because of the name, I don't know who it is and I do not know if that is in fact the anon poster's name, it is fine to be sarcastic and to answer someone if you feel attacked by them. I thought the post was directed at me because of the whole outing the other blogger thing. I did not delete for any reason other than I was confused on the name and did not recognize it as one of the names associated with possibly being the other blogger. Hope that explains everything

      Delete
    4. Oh, okay. I'm sorry I wasn't clear about who I was talking to. No it definitely wasn't directed at you, it was at that Anon. She continues to post passive aggressive rants targeting specific people (and is obvious about who she is), and it's just frustrating because it's not true. What I need to do is just deep breathe and let it roll off. She'll get bored eventually and move on, I hope!

      Delete
  28. Any word from/about the vigil?

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    Replies
    1. I went and I was very disappointed. I have not made any of the other ones mostly because it was a week night or because of the weather, but I am off work this week so I made sure that I was there.. I was surprised- all the dips were there, even Courtney. Gabby and Ayden was there too. They are beautiful children, so aweful that they are still with their mothers. What really surprised me was that there was NOT that many people there. I am assuming it is because Lance's was one of the organizers, but OMG- I expected a lot more people to be there for Ayla. Other than that, reporters were not allowed in; there was about 10-15 Ayla's angels there. I am not sure how many people all together but I would be surprised if there was more than 50 people. I had a wierd feeling when I left, I am not sure exactly what it was. I can say that Justin had a very strange demeanor. Derek was there too.. just overall, wierd. Once I have had a moment to figure out exactly what gave me that feeling, I will post it.. it's hard, because it almost had a funeral feeling to it but I have never been to a vigil before so I don't know exactly what to expect.

      Delete
    2. Thank you so much for going and sharing. I send happy thoughts your way.

      Delete
    3. Please do post that.
      I've never been to a vigil either.

      Delete
  29. http://www.onlinesentinel.com/news/aylas-uncle-heads-to-trial_2012-04-17.html

    Lance pled not guilty for smacking Justin Linnell. He's a big boy Lance is, there's a pix of him leaving the house at 29, don't know the date go the pix. He's got a Public Defender.

    ReplyDelete
  30. How come his family has a private attorney but he has to go with a public defender? I smell favoritism! Or perhaps the first sign of a crack? Ooh, I smell a new post a brewing!

    Stay tuned

    ReplyDelete