Thursday, April 5, 2012
To The Many Readers of J4A
I have been quiet for the last few days, my last post was on DHHS and their role in this case and today I couldn't write because I was in Portland most of the day attending Ayla's Birthday Vigil and giving my support to Trista and her family so I was not online at all. I was surprised to see that while I was gone, I was the center of conversation on a certain blog due to a post by Grace4Ayla on this blog. I responded to what was posted last night as a comment on that blog but decided I did not want to sully Ayla's day by engaging in a "blog war".
I have not responded to the most recent posts and comments nor do I intend to. I did not start this fight, I have not participated in this round and I will not be able to end it on my own. I can choose to ignore it and not read over there and I hope you all will follow suit. The blog adds nothing relevant to the discussion here and it's only purpose is to cause hate and discontent and the more we read it, talk about it, comment on it and about it we are doing exactly what the blogger wants.
I am not perfect, my past and my past indiscretions have been brought to the table on more than one occasion and unless you are reading this blog for the first time, you have probably heard all about it but have made your own decision about whether or not what I say or what the other contributors say is worth reading. Some of you have even emailed me personally and asked me questions about things you have heard and I have been open and honest and answered any questions that you have had and I will continue to be accessible to anyone who wishes to contact me
I will say that because I have a criminal record and because I have a child who does not live in my home(not because DHHS or any entity removed him due to me being an unfit parent) does not mean that I care any less about Ayla or that I am incapable of reading and interpreting information on this case and forming my own opinion. It does not make me any less hopeful that Ayla is alive somewhere and will be returned to her mother, it also does not prevent me from realistically looking at the facts and drawing the conclusion that Justin harmed Ayla and is lying about her being kidnapped. I know I was at Ayla's 2nd birthday party today and Justin wasn't, nor were any of his family members. I wore my Ayla shirt in hopes someone might recognize her and call LE with her whereabouts. I taped her missing poster to the back window of my vehicle to make sure it is visible to as many people as possible. I lit a candle for Ayla with Cynthia Caron of Lost N Missing, where was Justin? Certainly not on Congress St. in Portland or at any vigil they were supposedly planning in Waterville. Where was the other blogger? Online trashing me.
I will not stop seeking Justice for Ayla. We are not in the first week of this investigation nor are we in the first few weeks. It is not likely that some major piece of evidence is going to be revealed that is going to change my perception of this case and my opinion on who is responsible. I did not start this blog until the 2nd week of February after I was already relatively certain that the evidence points in one direction and one direction only. It points to the people in the home where Ayla went missing. I will not be silenced by people with unclear motives. My motives are clear as they have been from the start. I am not looking for fame or fortune. I only want one thing. I want Ayla to be found and the people responsible brought to Justice.
I know that a lot of this did not need to be said to many of you. We are blessed to have such wonderful, supportive readers who care about Ayla and who have stood behind us. I appreciate all of you and if anything were to happen to either of my children, you are the people I would want to have by my side helping me look for my child and uncovering the truth. I am amazed on a daily basis by your generosity and kindness as well as your passion and determination for what is right, what is just. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.